You know you are a REAL mom when…
*You get excited that your son wants to wear undies.
…only to find out that he doesn’t want to use a toilet or potty chair. Alas, I will continue spending my hard earned monies (that I don’t actually make since my job is priceless – a little stay at home mom humor right there) buying diapers for three kids. The only up side is that half my kids are potty trained and I lived to tell about it!
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*Your kids touch stuff and it just falls apart.
Ella somehow hung onto the center thingy in the mini-bus that has the DVD player and lights and vents in it and brought the whole thing down. For about two weeks I drove around with it looking like this…
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*Even with a third of your children away at school, you still can’t fit into your smallest car.
My husband drives a little malibu. We like it. But when my mini-bus is in the shop (darn you alternator!!!!) and the only vehicle we have seats five and there are six of us (four of which require child restraint systems – look at me sounding all technical and mature) who needed to go somewhere…I think you get the picture. #largefamilyproblems
It’s been awhile! Hasn’t it? Life has be REAL and there hasn’t been time to blog about it but here is the first REAL mom Wednesday post that actually is posted on a Wednesday for once;)
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*You almost take your one year old to the ER for a diaper rash.
Let me explain. We weren’t going to take her to the ER for butt pain. We thought she had broken her leg…again. She wouldn’t walk, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t do anything but cry in pain (same thing that happened when she broke her leg). Being the good mom that I am, I was going to put a fresh diaper on her before transporting the little booger to the ER. When I opened her diaper, her behind was red and raw. Right then and there I realized what was going on…teething poops. They are a real thing folks and are apparently equivalent on the pain scale of breaking ones leg.
Moral of the story – always check the diaper. Always.
You know you are a real mom when…
*You don’t know where the past (almost) three weeks have gone.
Nora broke her leg which meant we had two ER visits (one for the initial owie and a second because the stink pot took off her splint before we could get her in to the orthopedist) and a visit to get a real cast. Then there was my postpartum appointment and Thanksgiving with family and errands and sickness (there is always sickness with a family of our size during holidays it seems). People, this is the season for giving and this cold has kept on giving in the form of ear infections and pink eye and coughing and sore throats (PSA – if you are sick, stay home for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!! You shouldn’t need me or a doctor to tell you that.).
I’m exhausted from holding babies all night most nights as of late and getting up at the crack of dawn with little people and driving to and from school and doctors appointments. By 5pm I’m ready for bed and yet I still have about three more hours “on the job” before I can sit just for the sake of sitting.
This is a wonderfully exhausting time in our lives. Although, it sounds like I am complaining (I am complaining about the sickies), I am truly thankful for my precious little people and all it means to be their mom.
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*The five minutes before you have to take your child to school turn into fifteen minutes and therefore your child is tardy.
We are rarely tardy but yesterday we were and who really knows why it took us so long to get shoes on. Let’s just say I dropped Eden off in my pjs with slippers on. Two of the five kids had no shoes on in the car, one had no socks or shoes, the baby had yet to have her diaper changed, and no one had a coat on (Eden was the only one truly ready to be seen by anything alive). Needless to say we stopped at Starbucks to get a Mocha to power through the disastrous morning.
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*You are on your fifth infant and you just found out why onesies are made the way they are.
Did you know that onesies are made with those overlapping shoulder flaps for blowouts???? I thought they were because babies heads are laughably large compared to their bodies. But today as I was browsing the inter webs while feeding my newest little, I stumbled across this information and tucked it into my brain to try out. Well, I ended up using said info five hours later on a smiley poop covered little girl. You just roll the onesie top down instead of cutting it off (sometimes baby clothes just aren’t saved in this house) or spreading all over their hair.
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*You find yourself saying made up inspirational quotes to your kids and you don’t know where they come from.
Today we were at Sam’s Club and Ella was whining about not liking the granola bars I was looking at (I wasn’t even going to buy them). I look over at her and say, “Ella, let’s not be a whiner, let’s be a winner.” And then I was all like, what ridiculously dumb thing came out of my mouth??? I have reached a new low in the mothering department.
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*Your foot on your crossed leg is the perfect chair.
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*You realize your children will be in car seats for the rest of their lives.
At least it seems that way. I hate car seats. A lot. I have yet to find one that isn’t cumbersome and isn’t insanely expensive. This may be the biggest down fall of having five kids…five car seats.
real motherhood 