REAL mom Wednesday

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You know you are a REAL mom when…

*The UPS guy comes and needs your signature for a package and you are completely naked.

I don’t shower every day folks. Gross to some but I call it healthy skin:-) Anyway, today was my shower day and the two babies were safely locked in my room while I took a five minute shower (five minutes – that is all I ask for every two to three days to feel clean). I heard the door bell ring but was just drying off, so I figured no harm, I wouldn’t answer it. EXCEPT Cooper told the man I had no clothes on (the main door was open to our house but our screen door was shut and locked) and proceeded to just wait for me to get dressed. All I can say is, UPS guy, maybe, just maybe, you should have just left instead of listening to a four year old. Needless to say I am sure I had a peeved look on my face while signing for my husband’s work stuff.

Crappy foto

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I was going to post yesterday but the day slipped through my fingers. We DID find out the gender of baby #6 and I forgot my flash drive, so all we have are printed pictures for now. I will take a picture of a picture for all to see very soon. Needless to say, we are very excited about the newest addition!!!!!!

Without further ado, my crappy photos for the week…

Someone learned to stand while I unloaded the dishwasher!!!!

Someone learned to stand while I unloaded the dishwasher!!!!

We love our neighbor girls but they constantly want to come in our house. I don't mind but sometimes the answer is no. So what do you do when the answer is no? Stand at the door and look inside.

We love our neighbor girls but they constantly want to come in our house. I don’t mind but sometimes the answer is no. So what do you do when the answer is no? Stand at the door and look inside.

I needed to do some dishes but decided to wash the baby first.

I needed to do some dishes but decided to wash the baby first.

How we tow our children.

How we tow our children.

Balloon glow with my favorites! (All children can be seen in this photo. #winning)

Balloon glow with my favorites! (All children can be seen in this photo. #winning)

They told her getting her cast off would tickle. She laughed through the whole thing.

They told her getting her cast off would tickle. She laughed through the whole thing.

We don't eat cereal often for a variety of reasons. This is one of them.

We don’t eat cereal often for a variety of reasons. This is one of them.

Showing off her uncasted, backward farmer's tan arm.

Showing off her uncasted, backward farmer’s tan arm.

Public restrooms

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When your children learn to empty their bladder and bowels into a toilet instead of into diapers (seriously, I think about them just pooping and peeing on dollar bills sometimes – diapers cost money little peeps!), it’s a glorious day. But with the new found responsibility means finding bathrooms at the drop of a hat is a mother’s must and deciphering between public bathroom intrigue and real need become your M.O.

My kids (all who are potty trained) are fascinated by public bathrooms. Porter-potties give them even more thrill. As their excitement goes up, generally the cleanliness of the bathroom goes down. #truestory

Eden is to the age and height in most bathrooms that she can be trusted to go in and out of a public restroom on her own. Cooper, well, he is a work in progress. Ella needs an escort because she is just too dang teeny to reach anything and has to climb all over the toilet just to sit on it.

Anyway, fast forward to yesterday. The original plan was to go out for a celebratory lunch with daddy after Ella got her cast off. An unexpected treat! But as you know, the appointment went long, Garrett had to leave, and I had four kids begging me to take them to Chili’s. (Chili’s. We love that place. The booths are big and the chips are flowing.)

I have said this before, I am not afraid to take my many small people to places by myself. So we went. But there was a catch. No one could ask to go to the bathroom while we were there because the paper towels and sinks are too high for all my kids to really reach and I knew that once we sat down they would ask to go. Peeing in Chili’s is fun. They promised that they weren’t going to ask to go during our half-hour lunch.

Can you guess what happened?

Only one child asked to go pee. And that child just so happens to be the one most fascinated with public toilets. His response when I told him he had to hold it until we got home, “I’ll just pinch my penis then.”

Thankfully, I called his bluff (this time). He didn’t even pee when we got home.

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REAL mom Wednesday

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You know you are a REAL mom when…

*Your four and five year olds (heck, they are almost five and six) walk the halls at the doctors with the baby.

I take my kids most places with me. Today was no different when Ella got her cast off. It should have been a thirty minute appointment but somehow turned into an hour and a half waiting session. The baby was tired and bored and after having her crawl all over me for about thirty minutes, I enlisted the help of the older two to push her around in the stroller. They happily kept themselves busy walking back and forth in the hallways and only rammed the stroller into the wall and unsuspecting bystanders a hand or two full of times.

Crappy foto dump

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Antsy kids + rainy day = outside on the trampoline

Antsy kids + rainy day = outside on the trampoline

My three little dancers:-)

My three little dancers:-)

First time in a swing. Loved it!

First time in a swing. Loved it!

That time our fish was dead only to be resurrected back to life four hours later...still not sure how that happened.

That time our fish was dead only to be resurrected back to life four hours later…still not sure how that happened.

Happy baby.

Happy baby.

Last day of kindergarten!

Last day of kindergarten!

He almost feel out of bed.

He almost feel out of bed.

Stickers + Ella = Nora gets decorated

Stickers + Ella = Nora gets decorated

Conversations about character.

Conversations about character.

Pissed.

Pissed.

If looks could kill, we would all be dead.

If looks could kill, we would all be dead.

Spider baby!!!

Spider baby!!!

That time I only had three kids with me at Sam's club.

That time I only had three kids with me at Sam’s club.

Garrison is two and went straight to the top and went down the slide all by himself.

Garrison is two and went straight to the top and went down the slide all by himself.

Happy baby. Again.

Happy baby. Again.

That time I only had three kids.

That time I only had three kids.

Three kids. What a breeze in some ways.

Three kids. What a breeze in some ways.

How I spent Mother's Day.

How I spent Mother’s Day.

How Cooper spent Mother's Day.

How Cooper spent Mother’s Day.

My couch on Mother's Day.

My couch on Mother’s Day.

Enjoying her first bath. (We usually take her into the shower.)

Enjoying her first bath. (We usually take her into the shower.)

Computer issues

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Hey peeps! It’s been awhile. I’ve been dealing with computer issues and there hasn’t been an end in sight just yet and I am too lazy to try and spend time typing on our iPad. Bummer:(

On the brighter side, Ella is practicing picking things up with her casted arm. She gets complimented all the time on how cute she is with her little pink cast (little casts are much cuter and awe worthy than normal sized ones). The down side is dressing her. Seriously, I am struggling with what to put the child in on these cold/hot days (hot days are a cinch but cold days mean she wear sun dresses without a cardigan because there is no way to finagle them on her little body).

Ella and Cooper have officially given up their pacis. Or I should say we are trying. We still catch them sucking one of Nora’s from time to time but for the most part they are doing fine. No crying. Just lots of bedtime frustrations. And my biggest parenting advice of consistency is working but it sucks. I wish there was a paci patch to calm the nighttime nerves. But Cooper makes up for his orneriness but daily asking me how do I love Jesus and how do I glorify God. Those are loaded questions…

Garrison is doing great. Just chatting away. For twenty minutes he said “Go to Nanah’s house?” We dropped on something there the other day and he could not stop saying it until I declared it McDonald’s for lunch day (and all you McDonald’s haters can hate me for feeding my kids their processed food products).

Nora is a sweety sweet. Seriously. She is adorbs and cuddly and good and smiley and she loves people. She had a bad case of diaper rash last week and I spent $20 on butt cream that did squat. I took that baby back for a full refund and lathered her bottom up with coconut oil mixed with lavender and tea tree oils. Worked like a charm!

Eden is at school for her last day of kindergarten. She is such a lovely young lady and super smart! We’ve been going through Bible verses and catechism stuff and she remembers everything. But we are praying for a humble heart because she knows she beautiful and smart and will tell just about anyone who will listen.

I am doing well. Just trying to keep up with laundry, dishes, defrost the deep freeze, spending time outside, and getting the kids ready for their dance recital this week.

That is life with five kids and pregnant lately. Hopefully once my husband does some sort of “clean” to the computer is should work better and not reboot itself whenever it feels like it. Apple products are divas. ‘Nuf said!

Coming clean

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Some of you already know this information but for the rest of you, I just want you know that I wasn’t trying to withhold wonderful information. It’s just that I’m awkward and unless it comes up in conversation I don’t know how to say it. Don’t be offended, please, if you feel I should have told you personally. Again, I am awkward.

The news won’t be shocking for some and for others it will catch you completely off guard…

Our little family is growing…

Please meet our newest member...Hutson Jon Hufford (and yes, that is Hutson with a T). He provides hours of entertainment and love!

Please meet our newest member…Hutson Jon Hufford (and yes, that is Hutson with a T) – the bata fish.¬†

Hutson provides hours of entertainment and love! We are hoping to keep him alive for a very long time. But if he dies it will either be from obesity or waaaaaay too much stinkin’ love.

So, we are now a pet family. His water is already filthy from moving his bowl around and from was too much food being fed to him. He seems to have self-control in the area of his diet these days. He spends most of his time swimming through the rainbow and around the fake yellow plant thing we bought for him. One day we might add another female bata (because from what I gather two male batas will kill each other and we don’t want any of that) but then they might have babies and we aren’t sure we are ready for that.

That’s our big news…oh if you haven’t already guessed by my ever expanding belly (who am I kidding – thighs, butt, arms, face…), I am also 16 weeks pregnant with our 6th Hufford baby and we are WAAAAAAAAY more excited about that than¬†anything else!!!!! Sorry Hutson!

This was our baby about 7 weeks ago:-)

This was our baby about 7 weeks ago:-)