While daddy is away

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Tales from the crib…

Today. Oh em gee. I don’t even know where to begin.

It is really stinkin’ cold here in Iowa folks and I had five of my kids home this morning (one could have went to school but wasn’t 24 hours fever free yet but feeling fine and dandy). A friend and I were going to do a swapsy (totally just made up that word) of sorts.  I was going to watch her littles while she ran to an appointment and then she would watch mine while I took one of my shrimps to theirs. Sweet deal, am I right????

Everything was going as it should when I happened to go downstairs and see the toilet was clogged and needed to be plunged. I ran upstairs to grab the plunger and by the time I got back down the stairs the toilet was over flowing. I grabbed some paper towels thinking the water would recede a bit and I would bleach the heck out of the bathroom but all would be well. But you see, the water kept coming.

By this time I am frantic and trying to keep kids away from the mess. I’m calling everyone I know to try and figure out how to shut the darn water off (which I later found out wouldn’t have done anything because it was the main drain aka sewage backing up). No one answered. In my hour of greatness, I texted my husband urgently and sent pictures of the mess asking what I should do. He’s in Germany. So I was sure he would get on a plane and just fly to our house to fix it. Well, since he is an amazing, rational husband, he called Roto Rooter and ServPro for me while he was an ocean away (I think he could sense I was a little on edge).

My friend came back and relieved me so I could take little Ner to her well check (happy to report she is healthy with a giant head). She fed my kids lunch and when I came back the plumbing had been plumbed (note to self: just because feminine hygiene products are flushable does not mean they should be flushed…apparently) and the cleaners had just finished sanitizing the crap out of everything (notice the pun there).

This is a typical day in the life of me. Seriously. If it’s not me knocking my mirror of my car, it’s getting a gallon of paint out of my carpet, or our sump pump failing and flooding the basement. And it’s times like these that I am sure there is a God who loves me. For real. When life is literally a crap bucket, He’s there with just what I need (a husband calling the plumber or a friend overseeing chaos and letting me drive her van).

Need more proof that God really does love us. It’s the fact that I took six kids to Chick-fil-A for dinner tonight (thanks to another dear friend who gave us a gift card) even though we probably should have stayed home, or at the very least just gone through the drive thru. Upon sitting down, seeing my dentist (who just so happens to be one of Garrett’s clients) and his wife and two kids and realizing I haven’t showered since Saturday night. Talk about humbling. Then the baby starts crying and they were sweet enough to help me get the kids loaded into the mini-bus. People, I suffer from serious pride because I was thinking this has to qualify me for the witness protection program or at least is a great reason to never go to the dentist again. But as soon as I started the car I thanked God that I was wearing real pants and a bra. That right there was all God’s love I tell ya!

REAL mom Wednesday

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You know you are a REAL mom when…

*You spent waaaaay too much time trying to save clothes and shoes and ended up throwing them away anyway.

So, Cooper was helping me gas up the mini-bus and long story short, both of us ended up with approximately $0.63 worth of gas on us. I should have googled what to do before I stuffed all our clothes and shoes into the washer. Needless to say the clothes and shoes were not salvageable and I’ve spent 48 hours trying to remove the stench of gasoline out of my washer to no avail. I googled what I should do and it’s always good to know after the fact that I could have blown the house up!

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REAL mom Wednesday

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You know you are a REAL mom when…

*You get excited that your son wants to wear undies.

…only to find out that he doesn’t want to use a toilet or potty chair. Alas, I will continue spending my hard earned monies (that I don’t actually make since my job is priceless – a little stay at home mom humor right there) buying diapers for three kids. The only up side is that half my kids are potty trained and I lived to tell about it!

Pinterest fail

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Christmas morning I usually make something special. It means prepping the night before which is not my favorite but not, not doable. This year since we had a fairly new baby and I can’t eat dairy (seriously, my kids like to take all the fun things out of my life when nursing), I found a recipe that I could adapt for dairy-free cinnamon roll muffins (the blogger swore they tasted like cinnamon rolls). They were a Pinterest fail in looks (if I was actually on Pinterest) but tasted good! The kids weren’t the biggest fans and would have preferred actual cinnamon rolls. You win some, you lose some and sometimes you just don’t care.

Crappy foto Friday

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I don’t even remember my last #crappyfotofriday but I have some to show you. Most have been documented on Instagram. Since I don’t have time to figure out why wordpress won’t let me caption photos and insists on doing a collage, I will say that these are photos of Christmas and sickness and children and babies and flooded basements and toys upstairs and life (aka Nora getting into mischief).

 

REAL mom Wednesday

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You know you are a REAL mom when…

*Even with a third of your children away at school, you still can’t fit into your smallest car.

My husband drives a little malibu. We like it. But when my mini-bus is in the shop (darn you alternator!!!!) and the only vehicle we have seats five and there are six of us (four of which require child restraint systems – look at me sounding all technical and mature) who needed to go somewhere…I think you get the picture. #largefamilyproblems