You know you are a REAL mom when…
*The five minutes before you have to take your child to school turn into fifteen minutes and therefore your child is tardy.
We are rarely tardy but yesterday we were and who really knows why it took us so long to get shoes on. Let’s just say I dropped Eden off in my pjs with slippers on. Two of the five kids had no shoes on in the car, one had no socks or shoes, the baby had yet to have her diaper changed, and no one had a coat on (Eden was the only one truly ready to be seen by anything alive). Needless to say we stopped at Starbucks to get a Mocha to power through the disastrous morning.
Does anyone remember that episode of Full House where Stephanie wants to change her name to Dawn? I am pretty sure it was Dawn. Anyway, I have momentarily changed Ella’s name to Dawn in honor of this perfect Christmas card-worthy photo.
The Butt Crack of Dawn.
I went to Costco last week. I <3 Costco and inclosed parking and big carts and good deals. But I know when I go I look like a circus. Seriously, here is how most shopping trips (anywhere) play out.
Cart – Garrison is in the seat, Nora is in her car seat in the cart but eventually ends up in my arms, Cooper is either hanging off the side or has retreated to under the cart, and Ella…she is either prancing or doing the slow walk behind me. (Since Eden has been going to school our grocery shopping is a little less comical.)
Scene – A sweaty mom pushing the worlds heaviest cart with a broken, squeaky wheel (once you load everyone in the cart there really is no getting a new one), eyes darting around to make sure the two free spirits are keeping up and not getting in other people’s way. The baby in one arm at this point probably barfing on my coat, Garrison throwing everything I put in the cart into the basket (our poor bananas…), calculator in the hand that is pushing the cart (because this mom is on a budget), and answering the questions “Why didn’t that person wave or say hi to me?” “Can I have a sample?” “Are we done yet?” “Why does Eden need snacks for school?” “Can I hold that?” (always followed by) “Can you carry this? It is too heavy.””Can I take my coat off?”
I am sure I look like a mess during our outings to the store but hey, we gotta eat and feeding these little people ain’t cheap! And usually there is one kind soul who comes up to me laughing saying that I remind them of themselves when their kids were little and they miss it. So I know one day I will look back at these sweat-filled days with the same fondness and laughter that I do now (for the most part I love our adventures out) when I call my husband to tell him what our kids said to a stranger today.
It’s been awhile. Holidays, family, food, and friends.
This tree lasted a mere 24 hours. Sadly it was destroyed by the hands of toddlers.
Filling in the Thanksgiving Tree.
This is what our house looks like on dance night and what it looks like when the three year old tries to get tights on by herself. Can we say saggy…
Look at that 3 month old!!!
The text my husband sent me during church when I asked what the echoing noise was. And the whole boy scout thing is a joke about our kids being a sleep because everyone knows boy scouts stay in and go to bed early on a Saturday night (“Out like a scout on a Saturday night.”) – I just happened to screen shot this when he texted me while I was gone one night this week and I ain’t got no time to crop a photo.
The reason I avoid dairy.
You know you are a REAL mom when…
*Your arm bends in directions you never thought possible.
While driving our vehicle I can hand back snacks, find lost socks, dig through my purse to find a rogue piece of gum, give crying baby a paci, all without stopping the car. The only thing my arms can’t do is stretch back to the back row.
I was feeding the kids yogurt and handed my husband a flour sack dish towel to put on Garrison to hopefully make less clean up for me.
This is what I found:
Looking stylish instead of practical.
I really thought he knew what I meant. This, my friends, is the difference between a dad and a mom.
Dear Lady at Hobby Lobby,
Thanks for taking the time to help me walk my kids safely to our car in what seemed like 100 mph winds (seriously, it wasn’t that windy when we walked in). Thank you for offering to take their little hands and carry a bag or two so that I wouldn’t lose anyone in the wind or to a passing car. You made my day. You said you remembered days like these when your kids were little and I am so thankful that you went against the grain (I feel like we are constantly told that unless you have run a background check and have five references and your fingerprints with you, no one is allowed to offer you a hand with your children without being labeled a creep). You helped me out a lot. Thank you!
A mom with hands full of good (but often crazy and unpredictable) things
Lesson learned – read the weather before venturing out with little people AND wear your hair up so if you do go out in the wind it doesn’t wrap itself around your head making you look like a Sasquatch (and probably act like one) because you can’t see a darn thing.