On being community

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This post is going to be all over the place but I decided to write it because I got all sappy tonight retelling God’s goodness and kindness of answering a prayer in His perfect timing that I had prayed sooooooo many stinkin’ times it felt like I was speaking into the wind where the words were just blowing behind me instead of the Person in front me that they were directed to.

What’s the prayer I prayed? Friendship. True friendship. In all honesty, this prayer started in college. I had friends in college but not the kind of friends who were my besties . (College people, this little snippet goes out to you – it is FAR better to not have any friends in college than to have many friends who don’t push you toward Christ. This is coming directly from someone who went through four years of schooling longing and praying for just one friend to call my BFF while there. (Lindsey, you don’t count in this because you have always and will always be my first BFF)). Then I got married and before I knew it we had a baby and had settled back into our hometown. We went to church on Sundays. I tried to get involved in MOPS and other mommy groups. I tried “dating” other moms on play dates but it all fell flat. Most people I met had all their friendship connectors filled and I had arrived a minute too late to really plug myself into anyone. I was desperately crying out to God for one friend. Just one. It was a pretty easy prayer to answer – at least I thought so. Plus Jesus is my bestie and He died for me, so what else did I really need. Queue this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iUU6jTqB6k

Well, long story shortened (‘cuz who knows how short this will end up being). We switched churches and were plugged almost immediately into a Connection Group full of people we knew nothing about and it was amazing! But this isn’t where the story ends and I raise up my hands and say I got my friends! These people were awesome and great and there will always be that bond of that group but half of us were sent on to start up Connection Groups in Cedar Rapids that would be the beginning of Veritas Cedar Rapids (which is another God story in itself). Anyway, years past and more babies were born…

I still remember the moment. And it still brings those happy, sappy, God is too good and kind to me tears. It was the moment I realized my prayers (the desperate ones, the ones that were lonely and felt like they were directed toward deaf ears) were answered. It was when I realized that God hadn’t been turning His ear from me but telling me all along to wait, that He had the perfect friendship waiting for me but that the timing of it would be the sweetest gift. One that I will always hold deeply too (just like the gifts of my husband and children and healing of our sweet boy).

I’ve written about it before but when Garrison was born, we spent the first three-ish months of his life back and forth from the U of I Children’s Hospital. It was exhausting. Our wonderful community set up meals and watched our kids and did everything they could to make those months smoother.

I still remember the day that Alexa came to my house to bring our family dinner. She remembered me telling her that hospital days were exhausting and how I never had the energy to feed my family by the time we got home (and this was well after the initial weekly trips to the hospital had stopped and when life had calmed waaaaaaaaaaay down). It feels like just yesterday that I heard God telling me “My sweet child, I heard your prayers. ALWAYS! I wanted you to wait for the friendships that I knew would be perfect for you.” And He was right.

This friendship (and all the friendships He has graciously given to me the years since – shout out to all my homies!!!!!!*), was so worth the wait.

The point of this post isn’t to gloat over my bestie (although she is pretty great) but really to say, if you are lonely, keep praying. Keep praying. God is faithful and He listens and cares and your cries out to Him do not land on deaf ears. And if you are lonely (or maybe you don’t even realize you are lonely because you have filled your life with busy-ness to distract you from loneliness), I am willing (me, Karlee Sue Hufford) to step in and be the community you need. You know, the one you call when you are sick and need diapers or medicine or chicken soup or someone to watch your kids or to bring you Starbucks or just listen and pray with and for you. We might never be BFFs but I’ll stand in until you look up one day and see your best friend standing there and you get to see answered prayer. Because when you see God answer prayer in His perfect timing, you always realize the wait was worth it. Loneliness is always worth seeing God’s work in your life. Always.

So if you are not willing to ask (I know the most humble of us struggle with pride (raises my hand) and it SUCKS to admit you are in need of friends – believe me, I’ve been there, done that) and I see you looking lonely, please accept my offers to lighten your load (motherhood is a heavy thing to carry all by yourself) and to be your friend.

*So I was totally going to write homommies (you know, a combo of homies and mommies) but I realized after getting mad at autocorrect for changing it to homilies a dozen times that homommies looks and sounds like ho-mommies and we don’t want any of that.

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One response »

  1. In the same boat and still waiting.

    God has always provided when the timing was on his time. Look what happened with me getting pregnant with baby Hannah! Miscarriage in 2012, horrible 2014 where friendships were lost and gone forever. 2015 a time for healing with that. 2016 baby Hannah born, Holy Spirit flooded me with love showing me that I was never alone.

    My prayer for this year is long lasting friendships. ones that cannot be broken. Friendships that no matter what each of us go throw, we are there. Thick and thin, no matter what.

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