Public restrooms

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When your children learn to empty their bladder and bowels into a toilet instead of into diapers (seriously, I think about them just pooping and peeing on dollar bills sometimes – diapers cost money little peeps!), it’s a glorious day. But with the new found responsibility means finding bathrooms at the drop of a hat is a mother’s must and deciphering between public bathroom intrigue and real need become your M.O.

My kids (all who are potty trained) are fascinated by public bathrooms. Porter-potties give them even more thrill. As their excitement goes up, generally the cleanliness of the bathroom goes down. #truestory

Eden is to the age and height in most bathrooms that she can be trusted to go in and out of a public restroom on her own. Cooper, well, he is a work in progress. Ella needs an escort because she is just too dang teeny to reach anything and has to climb all over the toilet just to sit on it.

Anyway, fast forward to yesterday. The original plan was to go out for a celebratory lunch with daddy after Ella got her cast off. An unexpected treat! But as you know, the appointment went long, Garrett had to leave, and I had four kids begging me to take them to Chili’s. (Chili’s. We love that place. The booths are big and the chips are flowing.)

I have said this before, I am not afraid to take my many small people to places by myself. So we went. But there was a catch. No one could ask to go to the bathroom while we were there because the paper towels and sinks are too high for all my kids to really reach and I knew that once we sat down they would ask to go. Peeing in Chili’s is fun. They promised that they weren’t going to ask to go during our half-hour lunch.

Can you guess what happened?

Only one child asked to go pee. And that child just so happens to be the one most fascinated with public toilets. His response when I told him he had to hold it until we got home, “I’ll just pinch my penis then.”

Thankfully, I called his bluff (this time). He didn’t even pee when we got home.

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