Things not to say to a mom


There have been plenty of moments during this motherhood journey that I have had random strangers ask very personal and weird and often perplexing questions. I’ve had some older folks question if I was overfeeding Ella (she was really plump but all she was getting was breast milk, so I am not sure how I could make my baby obese).  It’s times like those I wonder if people have a filter.

So, I thought maybe people don’t know what is appropriate to bring up to a mom you don’t know.  Here is a list of just a few:

1. “You look really tired.”  If you think a mom looks tired never say that to her unless you are offering to watch her children so she can nap. She knows she looks tired because she can feel the tiredness in her bones.

2. “I think ___ children is more than enough.”  Garrett always says that people think having one more child than they had/have is too many for them.

3. “Just wait until they become teenagers.”  I love this comment because it assumes that I will be a horrible parent and have brats for kids when they grow up.

4. “When are you going to potty train him?” Stranger, it ain’t none of your business when I plan to stop diapering my child.

5. “You are breaking out, you must be having a girl.”  Thanks lady.  I needed someone to point out that my skin looks like I am thirteen.

6. “Oh, look at his baby acne.”  Never ever comment on my baby’s acne.  Comment on how cute or little or sweet he is, not a normal thing many babies go through.  I am probably hormonal as it is and it just makes me feel like my baby is ugly.

7. “You know how you got in this situation, right?”  Yes.  Yes I do.  And I actually chose to be in this situation.  Thank you very much!

8. “Are they all yours?”  I get this one.  But still.  What if I answered, “No.  Just picked up a couple off the street.”

9. “Your done having kids now, right?” I hate this question.  Does it matter if I’m not?  Is it really any of your business if I am done? Strangers seem to be really concerned about me overpopulating the city of Cedar Rapids.

10. “Is your husband going to get a vasectomy?”  Hmm…I don’t really feel like talking about my husband’s “area” to someone I don’t know.  But go ahead and ask him.


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