REAL mom Wednesday


You know you are a REAL mom when…

*You blindly try and put a paci in your child’s mouth, only to realize you are trying to stick it in their eye…or nose.

*The excuse “I have four kids” is sufficient for any answer.

“I am tired.”
“Well, I have four kids.”

“You look tired.”
“Well, I have four kids.”

“Have you showered today?”
“I have four kids.”

“What is your phone number?”
“I have four kids.”

Each child has taken away a little bit of my ability to think on my feet sometimes.  If I look at you with a blank stare when you ask me where I live, just know it’s not you asking a dumb question, it is the fact that I have four kids.


One response »

  1. once, right after i had penelope, i got called for jury duty and ended up calling on the wrong day and being generally confused about the whole thing. when the lady on the other end asked me my maiden name, i seriously had no idea, so i was like, ‘…paige?’ she thought i was an idiot. so i apologized and was like, ‘i have a newborn’ and she was all, ‘oh, no need to come in for jury duty, sweetheart; get some sleep!’ and the more kids you have, the better it gets when it comes to having an excuse for pretty much any kind of normal human expectation! i could show up to the dentist office in nothing but a towel and be all, ‘i have a bunch of kids’ and they’d be all, ‘have a seat, honey. here’s a magazine. can i get you a margarita?’

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